Salchichan Living: Leonard Lost his Fingers

Local boy loses ten fingers

A local boy lost all ten of his fingers last night in what seems to be a Halloween prank gone wrong. The Victim, Leonard Leberfrank of Salchicha Township, was apparently dared by his sister to lurk in the nearby Missing Mile Cemetery and retrieve items from a grave that had recently been opened for a police investigation. Leberfrank apparently was opening the tomb when it was proven too heavy for him and was dropped on his fingers, which were immediately severed in a surprisingly clean cut. Leberfrank, who is still in the hospital waiting for the hopeful retrieval of his fingers, is in stable condition and has understandably been delirious from the accident, citing an attack by an unknown assailant. More details should be released later in the week.